An excerpt from the chapter Handling Criticism from Rory Noland’s book Heart Of The Artist.
Respond with Grace
Even if we’re convinced that constructive criticism is good for us, it can still be difficult to know how to respond to suggestions or criticism with grace instead of anger. James 1:19 shows us how to do that: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
Be quick to listen. Instead of being quick to justify yourself, listen first. Listen without being threatened. Listen as a beloved child of God secure in His love, someone whom God loves intensely. You are a person God cares deeply about, not someone who has to have his or her giftedness or worth validated every time something negative is hinted at. Listen to what is being said, without blowing it up to be bigger than it is. Sometimes we’re too busy being defensive to really listen. Negative feedback triggers all sorts of negative self-talk.
Be slow to speak. Don’t be so quick to defend yourself. When someone offers us feedback, our first response should not be a defensive one. Our first response should be to ask ourselves, Is any of this true? Proverbs 18:17 says, “The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him.” We shouldn’t be quick to defend ourselves, because someone could come along and corroborate the criticism. When someone offers constructive criticism in a loving way, we need to express appreciation for his or her courage, concern and love. It’s not easy to speak the truth. Even if you may doubt the person’s care and concern, you’re usually not in the best position to judge the person’s motives.
It’s a very wise person who cultivates an environment of honesty surrounding everything he or she does. I’d hate to get to the end of my life knowing that I was deceived about certain things about myself simply because I wasn’t open to the truth because I was too quick to defend myself. Neil T. Anderson says that “if you are wrong, you don’t have a defense…if you are right, you don’t need a defense” (emphasis in original).
Be slow to become angry. Take a step back. Cool down. Sometimes we get angry and defensive and take things in ways they were never intended to be taken. If you’re hurt by someone,it’s your responsibility to confront him or her about it as Matthew 18 instructs. Letting anger fester and stew is never a God-glorifying option. Chances are, if you’re too quick to hear and slow to speak,you’ll be slow to anger.
Be Discerning
When you invite constructive criticism, you may get conflicting opinions that’ll make your head spin. How do you know what’s from God and what isn’t? In Proverbs 15:31 welearn that “he who listens to life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise.” If you are open to constructive criticism, it’ll make you wiser. You will grow in your ability to understand what’s from God and what isn’t.
You should listen tofeedback, but you don’t have to take everything you hear as the absolute truth. “A simple man believes anything,but a prudent man gives thought to his steps” (Prov. 14:15). This is especially important for those artists who find themselves in situations in which many people (sometimes toomany people) are putting in their two cents’ worth. In film, for example, a script might get edited and rewritten by dozens of people along the way, to the point where the finished movie only faintly resembles the original screenplay. For those of us who are under the microscope of many who constantly offer us feedback, it’s essential that we be discerning. Not all feedback is given with sensitivity, but we can still learn from it. This is important because you’re always going to run into the tackless individual who speaks without thinking. We need to learn to listen to what those people are saying and overlook how they’re saying it. Not all feedback is given with good intentions, but you can take what it helpful and leave the rest. Even if the criticism wasn’t offered in love, you can turn it into something beneficial by asking yourself, What canI learn from this criticism that can make me a better artist? That’s a sure way to make constructive criticism workfor you instead of against you.
Sometimes creative peoplecan get married to an idea or line and can’t let go of it, even though it’s hurting the overall piece. For example, we songwriters can become too attached to a lyric line. It may be our favorite line in the song, but if someone points out that the line doesn’t work, our inflexibility can cause us to lose our objectivity. A friend of mine, Judson Poling, is a writer, and on the subject of receiving feedback I once heard him say, “All my little darlings must die.”Don’t be so obsessed with an idea or line that you can’t hear constructive criticism.
Excerptfrom Page 162-164
Author Rory Noland, director of Heart of the Artist Ministries.
Learn more about Rory and his books at http://www.heartoftheartist.org
